Once Works Well was pure technology. Now it seeks merely to divert.
Pansy subjects - Verse! Opera! Domestic trivia! - are now commonplace.
The 300-word limit for posts is retained. The ego is enlarged

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Christmas wish list

Technology to improve all our lives:

Force field that levitates certain objects (china, books with bookmarks, hi-fi knobs) when anyone under age of five enters living room.

Additive for milk and milk-based dishes to prevent skin forming.

Lavatory brush that…. sorry, can’t complete this one.

Wine-glasses that change shape from slender (white) to wide (red) and wash themselves while user remains prone on the couch.

Bath plug flexible enough to seal the ‘ole but strong enough to withstand removal.

Display panel at rear of car for touring in France. Lights up with – what else? - Trop proche!

Quarantine flag, indicating outbreak of cholera, for use when queueing at airport check-ins.

Auto-censor for TV news bulletins. Deletes user-selected expressions (eg, “The England soccer team hopes…”, “billions”, “trillions”.)

Standardised supermarket checkout card reader with label: Insert here (50 pt Dayglow yellow type) this way round (with picture).

To be continued

4 comments:

Lucy said...

'Trop proche salaud!'would be even better.

I don't mind the skin on milky things, but those wine glasses sound good!

Plutarch said...

May I suggest a mind-connected dictionary that opens at the word you are seeking.

Zhoen said...

This is an idea I want to work on this weekend...

Barrett Bonden said...

Lucy, I love France but not enough to want to die there.