Carving the impossible

To expand Stephen Fry's TV programme about Gutenberg they got a craftsman to build a replica of G's original printing press. This required him to carve a huge screw out of wood and both the end-product and the sawing/chiselling process were a delight to contemplate. But a screw is no use if it has no mirror-image to engage with and even the most adept carpenter would find it difficult to carve a thread on the inside surface of a hole. But those medieval woodsmiths knew a thing or two. Drill a pilot hole and introduce a shaft embedded with three metal blades. Rotate the shaft and, providing the measurements were correct, the female thread emerges. Voila!

TECHNO-ART You may not recall the name of the painting but chances are you'll recognise it when you see it. Totes Meer (Dead Sea) by Paul Nash is a moon-washed seascape cluttered with the wreckage of Luftwaffe planes. It's the authenticity of the latter that gives the painting its power and memorability.

Introducing two mega-stars

In seven very famous words ("Oh my America, my new found land.") Donne evokes the thrill of a distant country, creates a combined pun and metaphor and reports on his progress during a love-making session. Aso, unmistakably, he writes a line of poetry.

Georg Simon Ohm used only three symbols to formulate Ohm's Law: current equals voltage divided by resistance. Concise, easy to understand and still at the heart of virtually all forms of electrical activity. Circuit-breakers pop open (and fuses blow) in obedience to the law which also predicts that electric kettles will heat water. Houses may burst into flames because of a set of circumstances which the law explains.

I read Donne off my own bat (another Northern expression). The RAF forced me to learn the significance of Ohm's law. I'm lucky. Many people turn away from technical stuff thinking it to be too knotty - especially when there's maths in the offing. I did myself until the RAF revealed the range of punishments it kept in store for those who chose not to understand Ohm's law.

As I say, I'm lucky. To me Donne and Ohm are not in competition they're names in the same pantheon. And that's part of the reason for this blog.

Protection against red-eye

In the home page picture (top right) I'm wearing my Maru goggles. Swimming crawl means immersing your head for much of the stroke cycle and you need to protect your eyes from the irritative effects of the disinfected water. Initially I used goggles made by a more famous manufacturer; they looked flashier but they lay over the eye socket and (it's only a theory) water entered - almost capillary fashion - via the eyebrows. The Manus fit into the eye sockets like a pair of monocles and remain waterproof for the full mile.


To prevent steaming up use a drop of washing up fluid on the inside of each lens, half rinse and let them dry overnight without wiping. Manu has changed my life.

Imperatives of bath enclosure

I am not a shower person - showers inhibit reading. The douche in our French house was quickly replaced with a bath and I then had to cover up its vitals. I made a wooden framework and went off to the bricolage for some boarding-off material.

I explained my needs and the man nodded. Use faience he said, which in this context translates as tiles. This would have meant first boarding off the bath so there was surface to which the tiles could be glued. More than that I was struck by the formulation he used. His reply employed devoir which can mean "must" in English.

I paraphrased: "So I must use tiles to enclose the bath?" He nodded. Any alternative? He shook his head. But tiles would complicate a simple job. He stared at me. Tiles, he repeated, and ostentatiously looked around for another customer.

I left enraged. Elsewhere I found compacted panelling in pretend-wood that was perfect (Ask for lambris). Then I simmered down. I've been taking French lessons for decades and this was proof, if I needed proof, that they'd last the rest of my life. Language is not just words, it's culture and that's much harder. Confirmation too that France is a foreign land.

TECHNO-ART The second-best play with a technological basis is called "The Affair" and is based on a C. P. Snow novel that pre-dates the Strangers and Brothers sequence. It concerns a scientist who fakes his crystallographic results. It's OK but the technology is somewhat peripheral. There is, of course, a much better techno-play which became a West End success. We'll get to that later.