Once Works Well was pure technology. Now it seeks merely to divert.
Pansy subjects - Verse! Opera! Domestic trivia! - are now commonplace.
The 300-word limit for posts is retained. The ego is enlarged

Thursday, 30 April 2009

A plague on both their houses

Shaving – a time when I look deep into my bloodhound face barely able to contain my rage at being the victim of extortion.

A razor resembles that other example of fiduciary cynicism, the computer printer: purchase price suspiciously low, running costs ludicrously high. Razor designers, sniggering, add plausible complexity. From one blade we move to two, to the swivelling head, to three blades, to slender-handled pink jobs fit only for women’s delicate hands. Marketing departments, sniggering in descant, attach childish gamebox names and give away the handle and a couple of blades for almost nothing. Then the real costs become apparent. A replacement blade can cost over £2.

The blades cut bristle, they “work well”. And, since a customer has this niggling belief he’s invested in the valueless handle, he mounts the treadmill. Over the years I have shed many of my West Riding antecedents but I still have an abiding hatred of being gulled.

I have bought alternative blades, conscious that this involves the connivance of the big players. I have bought disposables which only announce their wear by scritching the face. I have dallied with power. Fear has denied me cut-throats. I have had many lousy shaves. This is a rant. This is the end.

4 comments:

Avus said...

With you there, BB. Though I can recommend "Bic Comfort 3 Pivot" disposables. (I am not a shareholder). They come in packs of 4 and I find that one razor lasts me about 3 weeks. The Aloe Vera comfort strip "works well" for a smooth finish.

marja-leena said...

Or, just grow a beard....

herhimnbryn said...

Have told my beloved if he ever shaves off his beard, I'll divorce him ;)

Barrett Bonden said...

Avus: I'm presently working my way through a job lot of disposables, but I'm prepared to punt a Bic four-pack. Earlier Bics were strangely un-ergonomic with a rather bulbous head that didn't look "sharp" in either sense. But never let it be said that BB is unaverse to innovation.

M-L: Too cruel, M-L, too cruel, you cannot love me. My beard (unlike my hair) is carrot coloured speckled with grey. Were I to let it grow it would render my face like a neglected, rusty stanchion which you would no doubt enjoy photographing at English Bay.

HHB: But you, I see, have been allowed to change your footwear. Because of the season? But then Australian seasons are back to front... no, I can't work it out.