Once Works Well was pure technology. Now it seeks merely to divert.
Pansy subjects - Verse! Opera! Domestic trivia! - are now commonplace.
The 300-word limit for posts is retained. The ego is enlarged

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

White goods features lie fallow

I’m making do with Windows XP. For me Vista’s siren song is shrill and I suspect lasts longer than the Ring cycle. Vista has also had a bad press.

Eventually Microsoft will force us all to accept to accept Vista or its Elastoplast-ed (US: Band Aid-ed) successor. And we know what that means. A load of features aimed at seven Kazhakstan users; we’ll never identify their existence let alone use them. But this addition of unnecessary bells and whistles isn’t confined to software. It happens in the kitchen. Mrs B has never used the following features:

FOOD PROCESSOR Citrous presser, midi bowl, plastic dough blender, egg whisk with two paddles.
MICROWAVE Sensor cooking, auto weight cooking (sub-divided into Fresh fish, Fresh veg, Boiled potatoes, Jacket potatoes, and many more).
WASHING MACHINE 40 deg jeans, 60 deg ordinary wash, 90 deg boil wash, 60 deg plus pre-wash, Easy care.
NEFF SUPER-DOOPER OVEN Conventional top and bottom heat, Bread-baking position, Bottom heat, Dough-proving setting.

Has anyone – out of a spirit of scientific curiosity – used all the features on any culinary appliance other than an electric kettle?

POEM – latest. Info exchange between versifier and editor. I suggest Julia’s contributions are colour-coded imperial purple with mine in workaday black. Julia says it would distract.

11 comments:

Julia said...

Appliances fully experienced - rice cooker and hand blender.

Stay away from Vista for as long as possible! Contrarily, the latest MS Office is annoying at first and then very useful, especially the latest Excel.

marja-leena said...

Ancient Kenwood Chef mixer: used mixing tools fully, also blender attachment though not anymore (bought new separate blender), slicer/grater attachment not after first few months (did not work well).
Food processor: main used often but other attachments rarely.
Microwave: used all settings except rarely food weight and thermometer.
Cooktop: love the wok attachment, rarely use the grill or griddle (used when the family was young).
Oven: convection feature used sometimes such as for bread.
Wafflemaker: once or twice a year when husband makes special breakfast, again used to use more often with young family
Dishwasher: mostly Eco setting and rinse only. French coffee press: simple and easy!

The Crow said...

I had no choice about Vista; was part of my computer "package." One gets used to it (sort of.)

My dishwasher and my electric kettle are the only appliances I have used all features thereof.

Looking forward to your poem, Mister B.

Barrett Bonden said...

Julia: I ask myself the question: would I recognise a rice cooker? I agree about Vista but in the past Microsoft's arm has proved stronger than mine. I'm a great fan of OpenOffice.

M-L: The question of redundant features arises mainly when you replace equipment. Otherwise it seems you've at least tried some of the more way-out facilities. I like the gender divide associated with the wafflemaker.

The Crow: In buying a laptop for our granddaughter just off to uni I was able to take advantage of a local offer labelled "Doesn't have Vista".

Poem. I should check with my editor (two comments above) but I do believe publication is imminent. If it were a car being driven in Britain it would carry an L-plate (for learner).

The Crow said...

Mr. B:

Are "white goods" referred to in that manner because that is the most popular color they are made, or is there another reason?

Barrett Bonden said...

I worry about being called Mr. B - it has hints of deference which I loathe. Yesterday somebody bumped his trolley against mine in the supermarket and said, "Sorry sir." I would have given a hundred dollars for a snappy rejoinder which accorded him the same honorific. What the heck, call me what you like but keep on responding. I enjoy the echoes of our 1966 - 1972 Pennsylvania life when I "hear" an American voice.

White goods. I used it rather casually but then so do the stores. Mainly it refers to refrigerators, washing machines and dishwashers but I'm never quite sure where the dividing line occurs before we're on to food processors. In Britain the majority of these things are white: it was an American pal who created a frisson when he said he was getting rid of his white ice box (actually transferring it to the cellar to accommodate the beer) and replacing it with one in avocado green. Ah, the sense of liberation.

Britain also brown goods. These are ovens and... well, I'm not really sure what else.

The Crow said...

Not deference (as I understand the word), but a sign of respect.

Of course, early Quakers got around that by calling everyone Friend. Could do that I suppose, since I am a Quaker. However, before I became a Pennsylvanian, I was a Southerner. It was there that I was taught to call folks I hardly knew either Mister or Miss, coupled with the first name, if I knew it. Once we were acquainted better, we younger ones were expected to call the older ones Uncle or Aunt. You aren't old enough for me to call you Uncle Barrett.

;D

Where were you and Mrs B when you lived in Pennsylvania? I live in York County, about 45 miles south of Harrisburg, in the small town of Hanover. We are 20 minutes southeast of Gettysburg and a couple of hours west of Philadelphia.

Thanks for filling me in about white goods.

Barrett Bonden said...

I fear I'm quite close in enough in age to being your dad, always assuming I'd married my child bride in the Southern state that permits marriage as the next stage beyond puberty. Or perhaps did once upon a time.

I worked in Pittburgh first (Dormont the suburb), moved to Philly (Clifton Heights) then back to Pittburgh (Mount Lebanon).

The name. What you've told me reconciles me to being called Mr. B. But this is after all the Internet. BB is nicely brief, with the option to cut it to B when I've irritated you. My French teacher is a Quaker and by gentle example encourages me to be less rampant. Friend is gracefully direct and carries a delightful presumption that make the greetee feel he should earn that appellation.

The Crow said...

Then, Friend it is. (Should have read your blog before checking my email this morning, because I addressed you as Mister B at my blog.)

:D

The days of pubescent brides and grooms are long gone, at least here in the States...thank heavens! I was nowhere near ready for marriage when I wed the first time at 22; for different reasons, the same can be said for when I married the second time at almost 35.

(About Southern name etiquette - my mother said I used to call any adult I didn't know at all either Mister Man or Miss Lady.)

Martha

Lucy said...

Ah, hence the 'Uncle B' over at Crow's, which rather tickled me. Another bloggin friend says she dislikes titles so much that it was an incentive to finish her PhD so that she could use the neutral 'Dr', but then found this led her into tricky situations when a medical person was required on aircraft etc.

I'm with Julia on the hand blender, a ver simple Braun with a small liquidiser attachment strong enough to grind nuts, a thing you can plunge directly into veg and soup to render it mush, and a whisk for cream and eggwhites. I eschew space-taking and washing-up requiring full-sized food-processors.

I am hungry for the results of your collaboration with Julia; I'm glad you asked her not me as I would doubtless have been shown up... I feel we have achieved something very worthwhile now her husband is also calling her the Prague Polymath!

Barrett Bonden said...

The great thing about the salute Prague Polymath is it's laudatory but not fulsome. And it's well-deserved. As well as being on the critical ball she takes the sting out of correction while bringing up children, chasing down graffiti and just generally polymathing her way throughout the rest of the day. And of course she fit the battle of Jericho.