Once Works Well was pure technology. Now it seeks merely to divert.
Pansy subjects - Verse! Opera! Domestic trivia! - are now commonplace.
The 300-word limit for posts is retained. The ego is enlarged

Saturday, 23 October 2010

She thinks a mouse is food

To the right is Missy, a mixed if temporary blessing. She is lodging with us for a couple of days and I shall be taking walks with my trouser pocket packed with a Tesco shopping bag. The bag will, I hope and pray, remain empty. Unlike Lucy and Mol (most of Brittany) and HHB and Blue Dog (all of Western Australia) Missy and I cannot call on millions of acres as our personal fiefdom and should Missy sow then I must reap.

Missy has brought one benefit. Several neighbours were recently burgled and we are now activating our alarm for short absences as well as long. When Missy is left behind a burglar alarm becomes unnecessary. No unauthorised ragamuffin could bear the piercing shriek of Missy’s barks.

Both Mrs BB and Occasional Speeder (Missy’s owner) have noticed Missy appears to have taken a shine to me, proof of her low intelligence. As further proof I sat her in front of the Ilyama and she was obedient but listless. I get the feeling she was comfortable with DOS but couldn’t get her head round Windows. A speech bubble rising from her head would probably say: “Where’s the C-prompt?”

This isn’t her only limitation. In an hour or so I shall watch the recorded highlights of qualifying for the South Korean Grand Prix. I expect little reaction from Missy. Or for that matter from Mrs BB.

5 comments:

Plutarch said...

Why do I think that Missy has a devastating intelligence? Must be better than watching tv all day.

herhimnbryn said...

Am trying to imagine my hound looking so intently at a comp.screen.

Re the plastic bag thing when walking dogs. Most forest parks here have a clutch of yellow bags on gates etc. Usually with dire warnings that fines will ensue if they are not used. Mind you they don't have any where to put the bags once deposits are removed!

Barrett Bonden said...

Plutarch: Only F1 qualifying! Otherwise I have a sense of unease watching a TV screen while daylight is still available through the windows.

HHB: Ah but that's because you haven't got an Ilyama. Blue Dog (I know the name is Bryn but I hope you'll indulge me with this) would recognise your upward mobilitity with that size of screen and would seek to be a part of it.

As I was preparing to take Missy out this morning an elderly neighbour (What am I saying? Why not old, like me?) walking his dog allowed it to defile the patch of grass between our house and the road. Mrs BB, drawing the bedroom curtains, saw him and he saw her. No response, no apparent sense of guilt. No doubt he works on the principle that once the merde is out it becomes invisible.

Avus said...

I should get the "proper" doggy bags, BB - Tesco (and other carrier bags)have holes in them to aid breathing should you wish to put them over your head

Barrett Bonden said...

Avus: This must be the reason why my last several attempts at suicide have all ended in failure.